Saturday, August 25, 2012

Legit or Criminally Insane?

A few days ago while driving to work I noticed a homeless man walking very quickly and muttering to himself. What struck me as I drove passed, other than look at this crazy mother fucker, was the fact that he was dressed head to toe in fatigues.  So, I started thinking whenever I see someone in fatigues or camouflage I immediately think - Criminally Insane!  Unfortunately in this country we have many homeless vets and that is very sad. Many times you see the homeless in camouflage and you usually assume - homeless vet, which may or may not be the case.  If you think about it, Camouflage is so popular now, everyone wears it...the military, the homeless, hunters,  rednecks, rappers, babies, dogs, etc...

Also The Crazies dress in fatigues, how are we to differentiate between the crazy dogs and the sane ones?  All I know is if you are in the military or ever were and you wear fatigues, you're Legit! If you were never in the military and you wear full head to toe fatigues I'm going to assume you are criminally insane and run! 

Which leads me to the realization that there are several things I find either completely legit or full on bat shit crazy.  

For example: Hoarders Vs. Collectors

If you collect fine china, stamps or tea pots you most likely are a collector and even though you really have way too many teapots all over your home. I'm sure you're still somewhat sane. However, if you collect newspapers, magazines, feces and dead cats. I'm going to go ahead and say INsane.  Seriously?  What is with these Hoarders, there is shit everywhere and I mean literally.  There is no where to walk or shit or sleep, there is wall to wall trash, papers, furniture which is always broken or covered up with mounds of newspapers and random household items. 
Are they aware that you can pretty much get any newspaper or magazine on the Internet?  You don't have to save every paper from everyday for 37 years.

Next: People who have witnessed a UFO Vs. People who have been abducted.

OK, I'm not saying I believe or don't believe in Aliens or UFOs. Do I think it's possible? Yes! Anythings possible, right?  Millions of people have reported seeing a UFO which is just simply an Unidentified Flying Object.  We don't know what it is...It's Unidentified! Could be anything.  This is all of course legit but the people who claim they have been abducted or taken aboard a space ship and then brought back here, yeah I dunno about that. Is it possible? Hell yeah! But why is the guy who is reporting this always from West Virginia (no offense WV) missing teeth, wearing a nascar cap and overalls (probably camouflage) and saying things like " First, We seent this bright light, then Ma screamed and the youngun's started a cryin' and all of a sudden I woke up in a field 2 days later and my anus was sore!"  " I knowed it was them Aliens!"
So, of course these people are criminally insane!

In addition: Church going Folk VS. Extreme Religious Fanatics

The families that go to church on Sunday or the occasional Sunday, totally legit, no problem. However, the people who show up on your door step early Saturday morning (Bible Beaters or Bible Thumpers) trying to convert you or the Churches that have the snake handlers. I mean, that is so EEEWWWW! That 700 Club Dude? Come on!

Now, the *Pièce de résistance - The Religious Cults - David Koresh ( Waco Compound)  - he slept with all the women and when I say women I mean 12 and 13 year old girls and had many many children, then burned down the whole compound with everyone in it.  Marshall AppleWhite (Heavens Gate) the guy in California who believed in some kind of UFO Religion and convinced all his followers to commit suicide to reach an alien space craft. Jim Jones the guy who had that huge cult following in Jonestown in the 70's and made all his followers drink poison Kool- Aid. These guys were all criminally insane and how they got so many people to buy into their convictions and follow them, I will never know.


I have gotten WAY off track now.  The point is there is a thin line between the legit and criminally insane, be on your toes people!

* Pièce de résistance (French pronunciation: [pjɛs də ʁezistɑ̃s]) is a French term (circa 1839), translated into English literally as "piece of (or for) resistance," referring to the best part or feature of something (as in a meal), a showpiece, or highlight

1 comment:

  1. BAHAHAHA! The WV dude who "seent the bright light and his anus was sore." Fucking hilarious.