Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Holiday Fun for NO ONE!

Ah the Holidays, the season is upon us yet again.  Let me start by saying I love when summer turns to fall, also I love when Fall turns to Winter then Winter turns to Spring and Spring turns to Summer.  I really do love all the seasons! OK, back to my point....I love this time of year, when the leaves turn, and there's a chill in the air, all the great fall vegetables are out, there's plump pumpkins everywhere, you make comfort food like stew or chili and sit in front of the fire. First it's Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas! It's a great time of year, everything seems wonderful, people are a little more friendly and charitable especially at Christmas, except one person!

That's right, it's THE Husband! OMG! He is the worst! Now, I don't ask for much, but I do love to decorate our house with Fall decorations and scary Halloween stuff for our yard and in Fall colors for Thanksgiving and then of course Christmas is the greatest for decorating.  The tree, the lights on the house, garlands, stockings on the fire place, etc...But it seems like the Husband always tries to rain on my parade or pee in my post toasties or really just piss me the fuck off.  Again, I don't ask for much and this is just a simple pleasure for me.  I like to decorate for the Holidays! It's makes me happy. So, there I am pulling down my Fall table cloths and yelling "Honey, can you please get the Halloween decorations for me?" I only ask The Husband because he has buried all my cool ass decorations way back in a storage area in the back of one of our closets.  So, It's possible when I asked him it was more like "God Damn it, get my Halloween decorations out of that mess you THINK you organized in this closet"  I can't remember which one I said. Which he replies usually with some kind of grumble or sigh.  Really? Just get it!  Anyway, so I start putting things out and decorating, again with a smile on my face and a song in my heart, simple pleasure you know? Then It starts, usually I'll hear something like " I hope you know I'm not helping you with any of that"  I think to myself - No Shit! Do you ever? - next I hear something like "Why do you put all this crap everywhere, you just have to take it all down?"  I say something along the lines of " why do you put on underwear, you're just gonna have to take them off again?" That might not be a great analogy for him, he may think - Hmmm, You're right! Henceforth, No underwear!
I swear, seriously every year we go through this. So Halloween comes and we usually have a small get together with family and friends. I make all kinds of cool Halloween Treats which he also must sneer or wrinkle his face up at, but of course eats and enjoys. By the end of the night The Husbands like "OK, we need to put all this away"  WE huh?  Yeah OK!

Next is Thanksgiving, he's usually fine because it's mostly stuff that is already out for Fall and a few table cloths, Plus he likes all the food so he keeps his snarky ass comments to himself.

Now Comes Christmas, I definitely decorate for Christmas and although the husband grumbles and sighs about it the whole time.  He will put up our Christmas lights BUT he only does it EVERY OTHER year! He thinks that's a good deal...He's no Clark Griswold, I'll tell ya that! I'm living with a real live Ebenezer Scrooge! So, this year I'm just going to hire someone to put up Christmas lights - A. So I don't have to hear his mouth and 3. So I don't have to try to remember if this is the year we get lights on the house or not! The best part is the day after Christmas, he immediately starts ripping everything down and putting the tree away.  Traditionally, most families wait until after New Years Day to take down the Christmas decorations. Nope, Not at Ebenezer's house! It's December 26th! OR If, you're like my friend Sassy's Mom, you take down your tree at Easter!
  He grumbles about the decorations, who I'm buying presents for, if he has to get up early to go see family, basically anything there is to bitch about, he will!  Although, he does love all the presents under the tree and all the holiday food. He may grumble and sigh about everything leading up to the Holiday, but deep down I know he really likes it all and enjoys it. It just wouldn't be the Holiday season if he didn't try and make my life a living Hell!

Love YA Honey! Now, Get My decorations out of the Closet!!
Seriously, get them!

1 comment:

  1. LMAO- for sure he would go commando- don't tell him that alalogy!! Also right on- my crazy ass mom keeps that shit up til Easter!